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Dreams Do Come True
by Beth James Burns, Evan’s mom
I suppose that all parents experience the same dreams when they find out they are having a baby. I’d like to think we were different, but I doubt it. I just knew that my baby would be extra special. I didn’t really know exactly how he would do it, but I was sure he would change the world…maybe he would be President, maybe he would be a minister, maybe he would join the peace corp., maybe he would win a Nobel peace prize, or maybe he would find a cure for some horrible disease.
In the very least I expected him to love music, sing even better than his father, play the piano well enough for Carnegie Hall, be the shining star among his cousins, and be an academic genius. Oh, and of course, swear undying love for his mother who intended to sacrifice all for him so that he would never want to leave her in her old age. I feared he might be a little spoiled because I just knew the sound of his voice would melt my heart.
All the ingredients were there. He would be loved like no other child. He would be part of an extended family where unconditional love and support didn’t even require definition or discussion. His church family would provide him with a spiritual foundation that would serve him on a daily basis. He would learn the value of friendship and community because he would be surrounded by it in good times and bad. Most of all, he would be blessed by God who would shower him with earthly blessings and instill in him the sure promise of eternal life.
So with absolute confidence that my child would change the world, I gave birth in the spring of 1991. Within moments all my hopes were confirmed. He was perfect in every way. Life for us began and for a couple of years I had no reason to doubt that my plan would come to full completion. Well, no reason except maybe that he didn’t call me “momma” by the time he was two-years old. In fact, he very rarely responded to any verbal command or request. For some reason I thought it was very nice that he could be visually stimulated by the television or a ceiling fan for an unreasonable period of time. He was happy as long as we stayed on our daily schedule and established routine. Just because he lined up all of his toys and seemed to have an unusual obsession with a few objects and subjects; surely those were just signs of a true genius.
As time passed, even the mother of the perfect child knew instinctively that the perfect child was, at the very least, peculiar and began to ask some questions. Denial became fear…fear became reality. They had a name for it. It was very rare. It had no apparent cause. Nobody knew much about it or how to treat it. But they did know one thing about it…it had no cure. It was Autism.
The quest for answers and solutions began. No rock was left unturned. We tried therapies of all kinds, drugs, diets, doctors, even homeopathic remedies. We read every book and were ready to listen to any idea. Some methods were more effective than others. The more we learned the more we realized that the struggle would truly be life-long, and it wouldn’t be easy. Through it all, we were carried and encouraged by our families, friends, and community.
Somewhere along the long road I suddenly realized that I really liked my child just the way he was. My admiration for him grew on a daily basis. I don’t know what it is like to live in his world but it can’t be easy. Everything is hard for him which makes each little success a celebration. Together, we have faced many trials and, yes, there have been times when I have wished he could really tell me how he feels. We are able to communicate in special ways, and he is the source of my strength and inspiration. I think, in a way, we both know that the future may hold some of our most difficult challenges yet. But, the sound of his voice melts my heart and he would swear undying love for me if he could…and I know it.
I have often said that he has a great life and it’s true. He has everything that a parent can hope for because he does not recognize prejudice or unkindness, poverty or riches. His entire life has been one blessing after another. His “people” are faithful regardless of his limited ability to express his appreciation. I know a host of people who are better people because they have had him in their lives.
What more could a mother want? My extra special child has changed his world. Funny how dreams come true…
by Beth James Burns, Evan’s mom
I suppose that all parents experience the same dreams when they find out they are having a baby. I’d like to think we were different, but I doubt it. I just knew that my baby would be extra special. I didn’t really know exactly how he would do it, but I was sure he would change the world…maybe he would be President, maybe he would be a minister, maybe he would join the peace corp., maybe he would win a Nobel peace prize, or maybe he would find a cure for some horrible disease.
In the very least I expected him to love music, sing even better than his father, play the piano well enough for Carnegie Hall, be the shining star among his cousins, and be an academic genius. Oh, and of course, swear undying love for his mother who intended to sacrifice all for him so that he would never want to leave her in her old age. I feared he might be a little spoiled because I just knew the sound of his voice would melt my heart.
All the ingredients were there. He would be loved like no other child. He would be part of an extended family where unconditional love and support didn’t even require definition or discussion. His church family would provide him with a spiritual foundation that would serve him on a daily basis. He would learn the value of friendship and community because he would be surrounded by it in good times and bad. Most of all, he would be blessed by God who would shower him with earthly blessings and instill in him the sure promise of eternal life.
So with absolute confidence that my child would change the world, I gave birth in the spring of 1991. Within moments all my hopes were confirmed. He was perfect in every way. Life for us began and for a couple of years I had no reason to doubt that my plan would come to full completion. Well, no reason except maybe that he didn’t call me “momma” by the time he was two-years old. In fact, he very rarely responded to any verbal command or request. For some reason I thought it was very nice that he could be visually stimulated by the television or a ceiling fan for an unreasonable period of time. He was happy as long as we stayed on our daily schedule and established routine. Just because he lined up all of his toys and seemed to have an unusual obsession with a few objects and subjects; surely those were just signs of a true genius.
As time passed, even the mother of the perfect child knew instinctively that the perfect child was, at the very least, peculiar and began to ask some questions. Denial became fear…fear became reality. They had a name for it. It was very rare. It had no apparent cause. Nobody knew much about it or how to treat it. But they did know one thing about it…it had no cure. It was Autism.
The quest for answers and solutions began. No rock was left unturned. We tried therapies of all kinds, drugs, diets, doctors, even homeopathic remedies. We read every book and were ready to listen to any idea. Some methods were more effective than others. The more we learned the more we realized that the struggle would truly be life-long, and it wouldn’t be easy. Through it all, we were carried and encouraged by our families, friends, and community.
Somewhere along the long road I suddenly realized that I really liked my child just the way he was. My admiration for him grew on a daily basis. I don’t know what it is like to live in his world but it can’t be easy. Everything is hard for him which makes each little success a celebration. Together, we have faced many trials and, yes, there have been times when I have wished he could really tell me how he feels. We are able to communicate in special ways, and he is the source of my strength and inspiration. I think, in a way, we both know that the future may hold some of our most difficult challenges yet. But, the sound of his voice melts my heart and he would swear undying love for me if he could…and I know it.
I have often said that he has a great life and it’s true. He has everything that a parent can hope for because he does not recognize prejudice or unkindness, poverty or riches. His entire life has been one blessing after another. His “people” are faithful regardless of his limited ability to express his appreciation. I know a host of people who are better people because they have had him in their lives.
What more could a mother want? My extra special child has changed his world. Funny how dreams come true…
Our family is new to El Dorado. After thirteen years in the same town, we relocated due to a job loss. At the time, we didn't necessarily see the blessing in the loss. We have four children, one of whom is severely disabled. His name is Colby. Colby has developmental delay, sensory processing disorder, and ADHD. We have searched all across Arkansas and Texas to find a place that will provide therapy for Sensory Processing Disorder. We haven't found any that were close to where we lived at that time, not until we moved to El Dorado and our realtor told us about Hope Landing. After our tour of the facility, we realized that our Father had blessed us by sending us to this town and enabling us to find the help for Colby that he so desperately needs. My husband and I were so relieved and elated that we broke down in the van outside of Hope Landing. The staff has been wonderful, accommodating Colby and us, and worked him into their schedule. After two months, Colby has made more progress than he has made in his lifetime. He recently got a haircut without reacting at all, a major accomplishment, and also petted a horse. In the past, these two events alone would have been disasters. This morning, I was able to swipe the inside of his mouth without him biting me or gagging, while in the past, even the dentist had trouble examining Colby. Though these achievements do not seem like a miracle, to us and to Colby, they truly are. Colby's confidence is increasing and his behavior is improving at home and at school. We look forward to the day when Hope Landing has a school that Colby can go to with his peers. We may never be able to express our appreciation to the staff of Hope Landing and to our Lord for sending us down this wonderful path. But, they will never be far from our prayers and our hearts.
Sincerely,
Kelly Fountain
MY HEROES HAVE ALWAYS BEEN COWBOYS…UNTIL NOW
By Kim McCloy, Director, Equine Program and NARHA Instructor
All my life I have really had only one earthly hero, my Uncle Buddy. He is so talented with horses and people and I respect him so much. Since I have had the opportunity to be a part of Hope Landing, my uncle is still a hero to me but I have increased my list from just one hero to several more.
Hope Landing has such an incredible, knowledgeable, talented and caring staff. It is an honor to work with them. They give so much to the children they treat. They work tirelessly sacrificing many hours and time away from their personal lives to ensure that Hope Landing is a success and our children and their families have a better quality of life.
I am in awe of the families that I have had the opportunity to get to know. These parents and other caregivers are such awesome people. Sometimes I feel like we are having weekly family reunions when I go over to the Big House (clinic). I feel that we are truly a family. Of course the staff at Hope Landing loves the children we treat, but we also care for their parents, siblings and caregivers.
Hope Landing has such wonderful and giving supporters. You give of your money and/or time. Hope Landing would not be the amazing place that it is without you! The children that we see can come to a “ranch” instead of a clinical setting. They can receive treatment outside in the fresh air surrounded by nature because of you!
Yes my heroes have always been cowboys but I can truly say that Hope Landing has broadened my list from one to many, many more.
Remembering Gertie
By Kirby Dalton
Gertrude was Hope Landing’s sweet ole 30-something year old shadow-cross donkey. She was fondly known as Gertie. She was donated to us by Joe Cheshire and sponsored by El Dorado Chemical. Gertie greeted everyone that came close to the barn with a sweet song also known as a bray. She was a star in Hope Landing’s play, “The Nativity”, and I had the privilege of leading her in December 2007 and 2008. Gertie passed away the Sunday after her last performance. She has a special place in all of our hearts and is greatly missed because she is irreplaceable.
By Kirby Dalton
Gertrude was Hope Landing’s sweet ole 30-something year old shadow-cross donkey. She was fondly known as Gertie. She was donated to us by Joe Cheshire and sponsored by El Dorado Chemical. Gertie greeted everyone that came close to the barn with a sweet song also known as a bray. She was a star in Hope Landing’s play, “The Nativity”, and I had the privilege of leading her in December 2007 and 2008. Gertie passed away the Sunday after her last performance. She has a special place in all of our hearts and is greatly missed because she is irreplaceable.
Walking the Path of Autism
Autism? What is it? It was always something that I rarely heard about and when I did I had to look it up to see what it was. Back in the late 80’s there was a television show that I watched every week—St. Elsewhere. One of the doctors had a son with autism. He also had an older daughter that helped him with her brother. At the time, little did I know that my family and my personal life were going to be drastically affected by the affliction of autism. I was in high school and college at that time and would make time to watch the show just like we all do for shows that especially interest us. After completing college and my teaching hours, I started teaching in the El Dorado School District. I met Chris and the rest as they say is history. We were so happy and as time progressed we happily looked forward to the birth of our first child, William. Everything went well during my pregnancy, and it was a normal delivery. William developed normally until about the age of three, or so I thought. I can remember William crying inconsolably as an infant. At the time, we were living in Smackover and I would put William in the car at all hours of the night to just get him to fall asleep. I just thought it was colic and nothing was wrong with him. As William grew he has always been an easy going child, unless he is dealing internally with his autism issues. My brother has never been a very talkative person and I just thought William was going to be like him. One memory that stands out in my mind is at the age of 18 months William could line ABC flashcards in a line on the floor and name every letter verbally. He could read books at a very early age. I would proudly “show him off” to everyone that he came in contact with. Chris and I thought he was a genius, and he is in his own little world. I still wonder “why” as I am sure a lot of parents with special needs children do as well.
Since William could say words he was not diagnosed until he was nearly four years old. Of course I did not know what I know now. I missed so many signs and regret that I did not get him in sooner, but I cannot change the past and we must all move forward. While William was attending EXCEL I went to a workshop that dealt with autism. One of the speakers mentioned that dealing with a child that has a disability could be compared to losing a loved one through death. The only difference is that we all grieve and move on when a loved one passes eventually, because we understand the reality of life, but having a child with a disability we as parents grieve everyday for the child that we “lost” to the disability. There is so much that is not known about autism and so many different levels on the autism spectrum. Someone once told me that we are blessed because William speaks and is most of the time quiet, content, and a loving child. It is the little things in life that count and the more that I see other children with autism I do realize that we are truly blessed to have William to cherish and love.
Over the years we have done a lot of the same therapies that everyone else has. We started with William at EXCEL. My grandparents would be waiting on him to finish his therapy everyday at EXCEL to take him home. When William started school he was in a regular classroom and this is where I came into contact with Kristi. After a time, we started doing therapy with her at the hospital on an out patient basis for summers. When the summer was over I decided that he needed to continue his out patient therapy. Since he was a patient of Kristi’s for so long when Hope Landing was established we were one of the first patients through their doors. We have been a part of Hope Landing’s activities as a family from the beginning. Family days, support groups, riding lessons, G.R.A.C.E. Respite, Camp Fire, Buddy Ball, The Nativity and summer camps are all part of what makes Hope Landing a place of hope. Hope Landing responds to needs of not just the client but the entire family and with ours that includes Grandparents, siblings and extended family members. I have also networked with several of the Moms while at Hope Landing and I truly appreciate each and every one of them that I come in contact with.
Through Hope Landing the family of the children with special needs can understand and deal with how their family is different because of the “special” member of their family that other families do not have. My second son, Jacob, is just beginning to understand how his brother is “different” and Jacob is only 6. Jacob is William’s “Big Brother”. My daughter Noel is just 14 months but goes to William’s room expecting the same love and affection that she gets from other family members. I cannot wait for Noel to tell William that she wants to eat his popcorn.
Hope Landing is an integral part of our lives as William has therapy three times a week—both OT and Speech. This means that our family activities are scheduled around those therapies. Also, we attend family gatherings at Hope Landing where William loves to fish at the pond. William is also involved in the sports activities that are offered for special needs children from Hope Landing and the Boys and Girls Club such as: Buddy Basketball, TOPS Soccer, and Buddy T-Ball. The sports programs allow William a chance to interact with others and to earn trophies as other children. Trying to juggle the activities of Hope Landing and the regular activities of my other two children is sometimes a challenge. If it was not for my wonderful support system of my parents and Chris’ mother I do not know what I would do sometimes. They are wonderful to us and I appreciate their love and support more than words can say.
Autism is a neurological developmental disorder which affects currently 1 in 150 in the United States and 4 out of 5 of those are boys. During World War II when President Roosevelt had polio, it was considered an epidemic as 1 out of 3000 were affected, but autism is not considered an epidemic although it should be. Characteristics of the disorder are lack of communication, speech delay, bizarre repetitive behavior, social inequality with others, rocking, repetitive speech, sensory issues, unusual eye contact, no eye contact, lining up items in a row, hand flapping, spinning, rocking, toe walking, and lack of transition skills. We must figure out ways to help these families that are affected by autism. Because you see, autism is a diagnosis for one person but the whole extended family is affected.
Therapies are an integral part of the treatment plan and Hope Landing is a great place to see these carried out. However, we never give up hope so, while searching the internet I found a doctor in Melbourne, Florida, who specializes in the treatment of children with autism. He has had his clinic for over ten years. He treats only children with autism. When you have a heart problem you go to a heart specialist so we decided to go to Florida during the summer of 2007 and see what this doctor had to say about children with autism. Dr Jeff Bradstreet is world renown for all the papers and research that he has done on autism. We saw so many children with different ranges of the autism spectrum that summer that we thank God for our William. He is diagnosed as severe autism but I don’t know about severe when you look at all those children we saw that are worse off than William. William is verbal although he cannot carry on a conversation with you about your day or the weather. William can follow directions but he cannot remember to stop and look for cars before crossing a street. William is potty trained but so many of the normal children with autism are not. William cannot make a sandwich but can fix popcorn in the microwave. William can dress himself but so many children with autism cannot. William can speak so he can get better and improve, and our Hope is that he will someday “recover” and be able to converse with us and tell us about his day. However, as of now, he must always have someone with him 24 hours a day seven days a week. I am a firm believer in any way that I can do to “improve” William’s quality of life means that I not only improve Chris and my quality of life but I also am improving Jacob and Noel’s quality of life.
While walking along the path of Autism for the last seven years it is awesome to know that we are so fortunate to have Hope Landing. Having the facility at a place where we can enjoy the wondrous outdoor scenery is so tranquil. A facility of this caliber is rare except in large urban areas such as Little Rock or Shreveport so we are very fortunate and appreciative of what we have available here in El Dorado, Arkansas.
Love and Hope,
Jackie Phillips-William’s Mom